Category Archives: comedy

Mark Dice Skewers “Lamestream Media”

MSNBC has such a lame sense of humor, that host Lawrence O’Donnell spent an entire segment fact checking President Trump’s nickname “Pocahontas” which he calls Senator Elizabeth Warren after she lied about being Native American to get a job at Harvard University. Media analyst Mark Dice has the story. – Mark Dice

The 2017 MTV Move Awards went “Gender Neutral” this year, eliminating different categories for men and women, because that’s not being very inclusive. Emma Watson and gender non-binary actor Asia Kate Dillon will explain and media analyst Mark Dice has the story. – Mark Dice

 

Watch Anderson Cooper roll his eyes after he lost his cool when interviewing Kellyanne Conway about President Trump firing FBI Director James Comey. Media analyst Mark Dice has the story.

 

 

 

 

Catchy Plastic Surgery Parody Is Hilarious

Via: Luke Cameron

 

Meet Dr. Cory Torgerson. Described as “one of Canada’s most talented and prominent cosmetic plastic surgeons, focusing on head, neck, and facial plastic surgery,” and described by me as “a guy I never would have imagined to make a parody video of anything, let alone that huge hit ‘Can’t Feel My Face’ by The Weeknd.”

Yet his video does just that, and it’s actually hilarious!

The video features patients before, during, and after cosmetic procedures, and features some incredible lyrics like “the Botox keeps me beautiful, I’ll stay forever young.”

 

 

 

 

Hillary And Trump Walk Into A Bar

 

[courtesy Google Images]

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a bar.   Donald leans over, and with a smile on his face, says,

“The media are really tearing you apart for That Scandal.”

Hillary: “You mean my lying about Benghazi?”
Trump: “No, the other one.”

Hillary: “You mean the massive voter fraud?”
Trump: “No, the other one.”

Hillary: “You mean the military not getting their votes counted?”
Trump: “No, the other one.”

Hillary: “Using my secret private server with classified material to Hide my Activities?”
Trump: “No, the other one.”

Hillary: “The NSA monitoring our phone calls, emails and everything Else?”
Trump: “No, the other one.”

Hillary: “Using the Clinton Foundation as a cover for tax evasion, hiring cronies, and taking bribes from
foreign countries?
Trump: “No, the other one.”

Hillary: “You mean the drones being operated in our own country without The Benefit of the law?”
Trump: “No, the other one.”

Hillary: “Giving 123 Technologies $300 Million, and right afterward it Declared Bankruptcy and was sold to the
Chinese?”
Trump: “No, the other one.”

Hillary: “You mean arming the Muslim Brotherhood and hiring them in the White House?”
Trump: “No, the other one.”

Hillary: “Whitewater, Watergate committee, Vince Foster, commodity Deals?”
Trump: “No the other one:”

Hillary: “The IRS targeting conservatives?”
Trump: “No the other one:”

Hillary: “Turning Libya into chaos?”
Trump: “No the other one:”

Hillary: “Trashing Mubarak, one of our few Muslim friends?”
Trump: “No the other one:”

Hillary: “Turning our backs on Israel?”
Trump: “No the other one:”

Hillary: “The joke Iran Nuke deal? ”
Trump: “No the other one:”

Hillary: “Leaving Iraq in chaos? ”
Trump: “No, the other one.”

Hillary: “The DOJ spying on the press?”
Trump: “No, the other one.”

Hillary: “You mean HHS Secretary Sibelius shaking down health insurance Executives?”
Trump: “No, the other one.”

Hillary: “Giving our cronies in SOLYNDRA $500 MILLION DOLLARS and 3 months later they declared bankruptcy and then the Chinese bought it?”
Trump: “No, the other one.”

Hillary: “The NSA monitoring citizens’ ?”
Trump: “No, the other one.”

Hillary: “The State Department interfering with an Inspector General Investigation on departmental sexual
misconduct?”
Trump: “No, the other one.”

Hillary: “Me, The IRS, Clapper and Holder all lying to Congress?”
Trump: “No, the other one.”

Hillary: “Threats to all of Bill’s former mistresses to keep them quiet”
Trump: “No, the other one.”

Hillary: “You means taking the $145,000,000 from Putin for the Uranium Bribe ? “
Trump : “ No the other one .”

Hillary: “I give up! … Oh wait, I think I’ve got it! When I stole the White House furniture, silverware and
China when Bill left Office?”

Trump: “THAT’S IT! . . . I almost forgot about that one!”


 

Hillary Clinton scandals are a gift that keeps on giving

Hillary’s  ‘Blizzard of Lies’

 

 

Government Calls It ‘Civil Asset Forfeiture’: Americans Call It Robbery

 

“Did you know police can just take your stuff if they suspect it’s involved in a crime? They can!
It’s a shady process called “civil asset forfeiture,” and it would make for a weird episode of Law and Order. See?”    Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

 

 

 

 

 

Via: aclu.org

On May 31, 2008, approximately 130 members of the CAID gathered for Funk Night, a well-publicized monthly event featuring music and dancing from midnight to 5 a.m. Shortly after 2 a.m., Detroit police officers, dressed entirely in black, with their faces masked and guns drawn, stormed into the CAID and ordered everyone present to lie face down. Many of the CAID’s patrons were standing in the back yard and were forced to lie with their faces in the mud.

Those who asked questions, including a lawyer, or did not move fast enough were kicked to the ground by police officers. The officers then separated men and women and searched them all, issuing each a misdemeanor citation for “loitering in a place of illegal occupation.” The officers also seized the cars of anyone who had driven to the CAID under Michigan’s “nuisance abatement” statute. In total, approximately 130 loitering citations were issued and more than 40 vehicles were seized.

Dan Korobkin, ACLU of Michigan staff attorney:

“In a free country, the police may not conduct commando-style raids on innocent people and seize their property without justification,” said Dan Korobkin, ACLU of Michigan staff attorney. “We hope this case will put a stop to the Motor City shakedowns we’ve seen across the city – the practice of arresting innocent people, seizing their cars, and refusing to return them unless they pay a $900 ransom.”

In a 32-page opinion, U.S. District Judge Victoria A. Roberts ruled that the police violated the Fourth Amendment when they arrested everyone at the art gallery merely for being present and seized their cars without evidence that they had broken a law. In addition, Judge Roberts found that the police misconduct at the CAID was not an isolated incident, but was in fact part of “a widespread practice” and “custom” by the Detroit Police Department of unconstitutionally “detaining, searching, and prosecuting large groups of persons” and impounding their cars based on their mere presence at a raid location.

Detroit police raid of the Contemporary Art Institute of Detroit

‘Policing for Profit’ perverts justice

Stopping the abuse of civil asset forfeiture

Why You Should Keep Cash Under Your Mattress

End Civil Asset Forfeiture

Policing for profit

 

 

Old Macdonald Had A Farm: Out With The Old – In With The New

Old MacDonald had a farm, ei ei oh! And on that farm he had some cows, ei ei oh! With a hormone here, and a hormone there, here a moan, there a moan, everywhere a hormone…

Old MacDonald had a farm, ei ei oh!

And on that farm he sprayed some crops, ei ei oh. With some GMOs here and a pesticide there, here a spray, there a spray, everywhere a spray, spray…

a small cage here and a tight cage there...

here a moan, there a moan… everywhere a spray, spray

Old MacDonald had a farm, ei ei oh!

 

 

New MacDonald had a farm. ei , ei, oh! And on that farm the animals roamed. ei , ei, oh! With a pasture here and some open space there. Here they roam, there they roam and never any hormones.

New MacDonald had a farm. ei , ei, oh!

And that farm was chemical-free with no GMOs …with dark soil here and  organic crops there. Toxic pesticides can say goodbye. No more toxins in our lives.

New MacDonald had a farm. ei , ei, oh!

 

 

Pharmaceutical Money: John Oliver Delivers The Bitter Truth About Prescription Drugs

Via: Last Week Tonight With John Oliver

How can you tell if your doctor is on pharmaceutical money?
*Is he or she happier than usual?
* Quick to prescribe drugs you may not need, or refuse to prescribe ‘old’ drugs that you do!
* Are surprisingly attractive, but not sick people frequently seen in the waiting room?
* Often prescribes ‘off label’ drugs, such as a new anti-psychotic medicine to cure your sinusitis. I only exaggerate slightly.

If so, he’s taking Pharmaceutical Money
How pharmaceutical money works:
Money combines with the cash receptors in your doctor’s wallet, giving him fast acting financial relief, so your doc can rest easy and enjoy life.
common side effects include but are not limited to:
chronic over prescription, unusually heavy cash flow, dependency on free samples, inflammation of confidence, affluenza,
increased tendency to prescribe off label medications –  which in turn may cause:heart attack, stroke, loss of feeling in arms and legs, seizures, blurred vision, grinding of teeth, partial deafness, total blindness, numbness, sudden bursts of rage,
angry erections lasting over 17 hours and death.
ASK your doctor is he’s taking any money from the companies who make the drugs he’s just prescribed to you.
ASK HIM IF HIS TAKING IT IS RIGHT FOR YOU.

 

 

 

Some “Walter White” Pharma Sales Reps Make An Ungodly Amount Of Money

Dollars For Docs

 

 

 

Lewis Black: “Taxed Beyond Belief “

 

 

Lewis Black:

“One of the interesting things about comedy is it’s tension release, and nothing creates tension faster than anger.”

“Republicans and Democrats can barely do what they’re supposed to do, and they sure can’t do math!”

“The Democrats have responded to the Republicans’ lack of dealing with reality by truly not dealing with reality, either.”

I find it astonishing that anyone is still a loyal Democrat or a loyal Republican.  What are you basing this on?  How is it possible?  What is it that you see?  I don’t see what you’re seeing.  What is it that the Democrats or the Republicans have done for any of you in the past 30 years that has made any difference in your life?  And yet people hang in, which makes me wonder, what the …..?  I believe you’re delusional.  I believe you’re seeing something that isn’t there and we call that, “hallucinating.”

 

 

 

Comedy News Analysis Is Better Than The Controlled Media